In my dieting days I used to have what I called “The Food Police” going on in my head. You know that little voice in your head? It’s the one which just said, “What voice?” Within our minds we all have different voices which talk to us. Some of those voices are negative and put us down. Some of those voices raise us up and cheer us on. 

Let me be clear, I don’t mean hearing voices in the way that you might if you were having a psychotic episode. I mean those inner voices which are all part of you and represent different aspects of your beliefs and experiences.

The Food Police were a strong inner voice that developed during my dieting days. They were my inner judge and jury that determined if I was doing “good” or “bad” with each mouthful that I ate. The Food Police were the sum of all my dieting and food rules. Every diet I started and every magazine article on weight loss I read, just made the Food Police stronger and louder.The Food Police in my head scrutinised every eating action. They kept food and my body at war. They caused guilt and food worry. They were full of judgement. They kept me in the dieting world, and out of touch with my intuitive body wisdom.

The Food Police voice would say things like:

“You’re an out of control pig and can’t be trusted with food.”

“It’s not good to eat carbs after 3pm.”

“I was good today for sticking to 1000 calories.”

“I was bad for having cheese in my salad.”

“I need more discipline.”

“I have no willpower.”

“I’m never going to eat _____ again.”

The Food Police voice would pipe up whenever I overate. It told me I needed to be stricter with myself and that I could not be trusted with food. Spurred on by these thoughts, I would busily set up strict meal plans which I’d religiously adhere to. I could have written a book with all the energy I spent counting calories. I could have gotten a graduate degree. Or volunteered at an organisation I loved. Or travelled. But like so many of us, I was in diet hell. Imprisoned by my Food Police thoughts, I was deprived of enjoyment in many aspects of my life.

I didn’t want to live like this anymore. I wanted to feel free in my mind and my body. In order for this to happen I needed to develop a new way of speaking to myself which was kind and gentle. I now have what I call my “Nurturer Voice.” This voice helps to disarm the verbal assault from the Food Police. It gets me through the tough times. “The Nurturer” is kind and caring and non-judgmental. She says things like:

“It’s OK to have a cookie. Eating a cookie is normal.”

Instead of the judgmental Food Police, my Nurturing Voice speaks to me coming from a place of curiosity, not judgment. She says:

“Gee, I really overate today. I wonder what I was feeling that could have made me need more food to comfort myself?”

So, the other day when I found myself emotionally eating I took the time to see what was going on for me. I noted that I was feeling particularly stale and mundane in my job. I was feeling bored, frustrated and resentful at work and I had been feeling unfulfilled for some time. Consequently, in a bid to find some form of fulfilment and satisfaction I reached for food. I reverted back to eating as a familiar way to take care of myself.

These days, when I find myself overeating, I see it as a signal for me to re-evaluate my life and find ways to put more balance into it. If I don’t make these necessary changes, then food will remain important by filling an unmet need. I have found it far more empowering and liberating to deal with the REAL issue rather than trying to beat myself into shape like I would have done in the past with more food rules and a stricter diet.

By taking the focus away from diet and body weight I no longer make food the enemy. When food stops being the issue I am able to focus on what I am truly hungry for, which in this example was, fulfilment and satisfaction. I don’t need to beat myself into shape with more food rules and regulations. I need to be nurtured. And with nurture I have the space and renewed sense of energy to create the fulfilment and satisfaction that I crave.

With my Nurturer Voice leading the way, my emotional eating has become a red flag to let me know that something isn’t right in my life. Now that I truly appreciate this, my eating does not feel out of control – rather it’s an early warning system. I recognise how lucky I am to have this mechanism to alert me that something is out of kilter in my life. If I can see that my emotional eating can have benefits as well as negative effects, I won’t get into a pattern of self-defeating behaviours that become destructive and difficult to reverse.

If you have your own version of the Food Police and would like support to find your own inner Nurturer, then contact me now to book an appointment.